Let Loose

I’m being the queen of procrastination and putting a halt to studying for my Ecology final just so I can blog before midnight and it is no longer a 10 day countdown till my birthday.

So, seeing as to how it is still 11 pm, the 10 day countdown till my birthday is still on.

I think I’m excited. Part of me isn’t. Because I haven’t really done anything fun since my 18th birthday. Last year I asked mom to buy me a cheesecake for us to inhale. And I blew out a candle. A real one, not a birthday one. And I went out to eat with my then boyfriend. Oh, and went to church. Other than I stayed in bed.

And really, the only thing I want to do this year is get completely smashed and end the night in a drunken stupor, because let’s face it, I think I deserve it just a little after all the stress I’ve had the past 2-3 months. But since my cake day falls on a Monday, there is a 99.9% chance that I work. So that’s probably not going to happen.

I can, however, reflect on all the awesometastic things I’ve done this past year. Things I’ve made myself do.

Oi, speaking of which, I actually changed my major last week. I am now a journalism major, emphasis in photojournalism, and yesterday I declared my minor in German. Obligatory “squee!!” is in order. I’m taking all writing courses next semester, except for German and my Honors class. I can’t tell you how pumped I am. I’ve missed writing so incredibly much, and I can’t believe I’ve found a way to make a career out of it. My Wildlife adviser didn’t seem too happy when I told him I’d changed majors…he tried to keep me in his Ornithology class anyway. And I totally didn’t email him back. But I don’t care.

And while I’m on the subject of German…I leave for Germany in 18 days!! I’m so excited to see my German sisters again. And spending New Year’s in Germany is going to be wonderful. I’ve only been there in the summer months, and while I’m deathly afraid of winter temperatures, I know it’s going to be beautiful while I’m there (although I’m getting cold just thinking about). Honestly, I can see myself moving there. I did get a bit homesick last summer when visiting, but that was mainly because of the language barrier. I think that once I get fluent in it I could travel the country to take pictures and write about all the cool stuff there is to do. And of course I’ll travel other places and become incredibly rich and have houses in Tahiti and shit.

Geez, I keep forgetting and then remembering my birthday is soon (yes, I’m a little ADD tonight…finals have wrecked my brain). I wonder if it would be possible for me to do something new everyday up until my birthday…and then blog about it. That would mean me spitting out a blog everyday for the next 9 days. Which probably won’t happen. But I guess I could try. Thing is…I don’t think I’m creative enough to think of a new thing to do for 9 days. Unless I pulled ideas off of Pinterest and just made stuff. Which could work. Then I’d have lots of presents to give away.

I believe that my rambling is my cue to get back to studying and allow your brain a rest from reading this jumbled mess. I bid you good day.

I now believe what my zoology professor told our class my first semester in college: that Biology majors get to have social lives after they graduate.

I have been itching to blog for EVER and it’s practically the end of November and I’m just now getting to it. No posts this month at all. If I’m going to be a writer, I should probably start….well, writing. But the thing is, my zoo prof. was completely correct.  I have been buried beneath piles of homework and studying (when I’m not slacking off, at least) and work. I have been to one party, 3 football games, and have had several people comment on how they never see me on campus anymore. Yeah, that’d be because I’m studying my sanity away, locked up in my room, curtains drawn, TV and music off.

Part of me doesn’t even care. I’m not really that much of a social person anyway. In fact, one day my mom just flat out asked my why I didn’t just stay away from people if I don’t like anybody.

Because I’m in college. College is an unfortunate social experience.

Now, if I could sit in my room 24/7, music blaring, reading a book, Pinterest-ing to my little heart’s content, I would totally do it. No work or studying? BAM I would be forever happy. But at the moment I’m trying to become a dignified citizen of society with a college degree that will get me nowhere.

On the plus side, only 26 days until my birthday. AKA no more being a teenager. And it’s weird to think that’s the whole reason I started this blog. And it’s REALLY weird to think that that was almost an entire year ago. I’m in such a different place now that it’s terrifying. I go back and read those first blogs and cringe. What the hell was I thinking? They’re all so stupid. I was trying too hard. I was trying to make this into a themed blog. And now I don’t want that at all. I don’t even have a league of followers. I should be able to ramble my mouth off about whatever I want here, be it jewelry, DIY, cooking, pissing off the people above me, you name it. I started this whole thing because I wanted to write, and I think I’m finally getting the hang of it.

I’ve even kept by my promise of trying new things. I’ve done really good since this school year started, too. I’ve gotten another tattoo…

…’memento vivere’, Latin for ‘Remember to live’.

I did that thing to the people above me. I’ve flirted shamelessly (i.e., attempted) with every attractive guy I’ve crossed paths with-except for that super cute drummer my roommate AZ tried to set me up with. I put my foot down there. Sassy Caitlin was not present that day.

I’ve baked more since moving into my new dorm than I have in my entire life. Not crazy or new, but I’ve always wanted to open up a bakery. I basically have started one in our dorm kitchen (to all my first floor homies, you’re welcome). I have colored my hair (again), but that’s actually no surprise. Thanks to NaNoWriMo  I have started to write my book-and no, you can’t read it. I can’t let everybody find out just yet how morbidly sick I am.

I applied to the study abroad program. I was not accepted, but I applied and that’s what counts. The program has put my application on hold and will reapply me for next fall. I’m taking another shot, which also counts.

And I’m even contemplating-deep breath here-changing my major. In a few days, if possible. I want to do photojournalism with a minor in International Studies or German. Then I would be able to travel, write, and photograph.

In the past few weeks I’ve started to realize how unhappy I am with my major. Maybe I’m just not ready for the amount of work that needs to be put in to it. Maybe I would have been ok if I had done Marine Biology at UWF. Regardless, I’m not liking it at ASU. I felt kind of stupid at first, afraid people would rag on me for giving up my dream. But the thing is, I’ve always been a writer. And recently, I’ve become quite the traveler. And those are passions for me too. And then I also realized, I’m not doing this for anybody else. I’m doing it for me. Things change. I need to figure things out on my own. I might be in school a bit longer than had I not changed my mind, but I’ll deal with that when I get there.

I guess maybe I get bored with things too easily. Which is why a degree in those areas would suit me perfectly. I would be able to move around a lot and be in different places, interact with different people and things. I wouldn’t be stuck in some podunk town for the rest of my life. And that’s my main goal. To get somewhere else and do something important.

So, I found this:

http://imgur.com/gallery/dysHL

And then I did this:

And then I figured it would be a good idea to do this:

Come at me, bro.

Customer 1 to Customer 2: Everything’s a dollar in here! It’s the dollar store!
Me: Your total is $1.09
Customer 1: …seriously? You’re going to charge me tax?

Me: Maam she can get you on register 2.
Customer: Are you kidding me? I was here before you turned your light out!!
Me: I just have to clock out for my break maam-
Customer: But I was STANDING HERE and-


Customer: Do you have anymore Mt. Dew Code red?
Me: I’m not really sure, maybe in the back but-
Customer: Well can you have somebody check?
Asst. Manager: -brings out Code Red-
Customer: -walks out of store-
Me: Did he not want those?!
Asst. Manager: Guess not..

This last week at work has been hell for me. It’s as if every person with an IQ below 80 decided to come shopping at the same time. And the other night 4 people came in ten minutes before close. Ten. Minutues.

Lucky for me I”ll only be there for another 3 months. 4 tops. While I enjoy having a paycheck, I enjoy intelligence even more.

Image sources: http://data.whicdn.com/images/6275934/tumblr_le4qljPbKT1qbog23_thumb.png

http://darlingstewie.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/rage-face.jpg

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRVwqq619Ggsy485TiBLV9bAumoFSWUgWKpSMCdn4LetgxyuPWHlPXkqqpAg

To the residents who live above me,

Before beginning my vicious rampage, I would like to say this: I hope you are having a wonderful semester so far. In fact, I am almost positive that you are just having a dandy time up on the second floor. Would you like to know how I know? Good. I’ll tell you just how I know.

With all the racket you make you must be doing something worthwhile. Like rearranging your room for instance. You must really enjoy feng shui. You have to, considering the first 2 or 3 weeks of school you moved your furniture around every single night. Late at night, too. After midnight. I know we are in college and most adults tend to stay up late, but we are STEM majors. In case you didn’t know, that stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. HARD MAJORS. THAT REQUIRE SLEEP.

Furthermore, I do not appreciate how you stomp around as if nobody lives under you. Or drop things. I know people are clumsy but I hear you drop things EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s as if you are doing it on purpose. But that can’t be right because I don’t even know you. I can assure you that it is quite possible to walk normally, and not like an elephant. If God had intended for you to be an elephant he would have made you one. But elephants do not attend college; I can therefore conclude that you are not one. In which case, quit stomping around.

I can not express to you how annoying it is for me to hear you clomping around. I can not sleep when you do this. Let me stress to you again: you are not an elephant on the freaking Serengeti. You are a woman in college. Act like it.

However, the thing that makes me plot your murder the most is your headboard. Yes, the bed. Whenever you are getting friendly with your boy toy, I am well aware. More aware than I should be. It is very clear when you are getting it on. I am aware how single I am and I do not need you shoving it in my face that I am very alone while in my bed, underneath your room. At the very least, move the bed away from the wall.

And for God’s sake, scream into the pillow.

Sincerely,
a disgruntled and sleep deprived science major 

The human race never ceases to amaze me.

Truly. Almost every single person I’ve come across (yes, I’m aware that’s a lot) has done/said something that has made me pause and just say, “…what?!”. This number has become larger upon entering college. But as of late, I have noticed that being an employee of any place of work greatly increases my chances of running across some of God’s most idiotic creatures.

For example, working at that consignment shop while in high school was quite an experience. The location of said shop seemed to attract every crackhead and unsuitable parent within a ten mile radius. There was the woman who payed over $20 in change; the scary gypsy meth head; and the guy who soiled his pants and left them in the bathroom, in the middle of July, when the air conditioning was out (this was, thankfully, before I began working). There were those who would attempt to barter with our prices:

Me: I’m sorry maam, but this is the set price.
Customer: But I only have $5.
Me: I’m sorry, but this is what our manager has the price as.
Customer: But I don’t have enough money.

Then maybe you should stop doing drugs. Then you would have enough money to buy this wallet that’s going to fall apart in 2 weeks.

And there were those who would get furious when we would not buy their clothes from them:

Customer: I don’t understand. These have never been worn.
Me: Yes maam, we’re just not taking winter clothes right now.
Customer: But these are brand new! [No, they are 10 years old]
Me: It’s not the quality, we just aren’t putting out winter clothes now, and have no place to store them.
Customer: This is ridiculous. You can be sure I won’t ever do business here again!

Good. Take your snotty-nosed kids and crusty, old clothes and get out.

Working at the Dollar Tree has been a slight step up from this.

Because everybody loves the damn Dollar Tree.

The majority of my customers are polite and I can carry on conversations with them (about Chaz Bono, for instance, like I did two nights ago). I would say about 5% of people I have checked out have been somewhat rude. This is compared to the 80% of cruel people at the consignment shop. And I would be willing to bet my life upon those statistics.

Needless to say, I am enjoying my new job oodles more than my old one. And getting to use a register with an actual scanner is always a plus. These factors do not, unfortunately, cancel out the inevitable amount of stupid people I run across during my shifts. [WARNING. USE OF STRONG LANGUAGE. PLEASE SHIELD VIRGIN EYES.] Despite my manager and assistant manager giving absolutely no fucks about putting a customer in their place (the way it should be done, dammit!), I am meek and a pushover and always smile and speak quietly when answering the idiotic questions of the human race.

That is our store logo. It’s a tree, made out of the number one. Hence, Dollar Tree. Bam, magic. Our slogan:

According to dictionary.com, the definition of ‘everything’ is as follows: every thing or particular of an aggregate or total; all.

My definition: Every damn thing in the store is a dollar.

You would be amazed at the number of people who ask me, “How much is this?”.

YOU ARE IN THE DOLLAR TREE!!!!!! TAKE A GUESS!!! And if you have done this at any point in time, I am truly sorry…but you are an idiot.

Three boys waltzed into the store one night, and one approached me, saying, “Would you please tell my idiot brother that everything in here is a dollar?” Yes, I will gladly tell this apparent newborn that EVERYTHING in this store is a dollar. No more. Dammit. I will grant the exception that some things are 3 for a dollar, or 2 for a dollar. But no more than a freaking dollar!!!! Meaning, if you have 9 items and 10 dollars, you are good to freaking go.

I adore my assistant manager. I was absolutely terrified of her my first week; I felt like she was always mad at me. Then I realized, it’s just the way she talks. She actually likes me, she just says things that come out sounding rude. And this is why I get along with her so well. I do the exact same thing!!! And I love how she replies to customers who ask how much something is. “A dollar. Everything in here is a dollar. Everything.”

Every. Single. Time.

And if any of you decide to come into the store and play with me and ask, “How much is this pregnancy test?” I will personally hang you from the ceiling with the Halloween skeleton necklaces.

I really think there is something wrong with me. Why can I not socialize with people?? Especially boys?!?!

It’s like my mind just decides to shut down and say, “hey I’m going on a mini vacay and I’ll just be back after this guy leaves your sight. Then you’ll be able to function.”

Just now I had this super hot guy comment on my baking ability. I made a bitch ton of those oreo cheesecake cupcakes again and was sharing them with the dorm. He came back for seconds and said, “These are the greatest thing ever.”. Actually, I’m not even sure if that’s what he said because my mind went to Hawaii or some shit. I could barely form the words, “I’m glad you like them!”. And even that sounded incredibly lame.

I AM DESTINED TO BE FOREVER ALONE.

-imagine the forever alone meme here. I am too lazy to Google it at the moment-

Really, though. I get complimented and have no idea how to react. I hate everything right now. Except puppies.

This post serves no purpose at all, other than me letting off steam that would otherwise have disappeared by me shoving my face full of the leftover oreo cookies.

I tend to be a bit conceited: I like to go back and read over my posts. Not to proofread. Just to do something. I mean, sometimes I’ll scroll back all the way to the beginning. Which..isn’t really saying much considering I have a total of what, 20 posts?

Anyway, I was looking at my last post with my drawings. I was in such a fit of hysteria when posting/editing it that I didn’t give a flying pretzel in rainbow skittle hell* what the actual sketches looked like. I would therefore like to apologize for the ghost images behind the true drawings. I was drawing on both sides of the paper (because I’m a hippie and like to save the Earth) and when I scanned the pictures…well, they obviously showed through.

Cue a blog post with more (neater) pictures!

While I will probably actually publish this after getting at least some amount of sleep, it is currently 11:45 pm 12:45 AM and I feel absolutely, completely, and totally unaccomplished in my life. Really. I feel like I’m getting nowhere. Some people may beg to differ.

Reasons I’m not a failure
1) I (finally) got a job.

2) I’m in college.

3) I’m not failing out of college.

4) I know what I want to do with my life.

Pretty good for a measly 19 year old, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong you are.

Reasons I am a failure
1) I am technically working two jobs but don’t really seem to be making any income.

2) While I may physically be in college, I most certainly am not there mentally.

3) My attention span is on the brink of teetering off a cliff and plunging into a dark void (read: I can’t study).

4) I wake up every day with some brand new idea of how I can support myself, and it usually does not involve any need for college.

These are lethal combinations, people. Let me put this into perspective for you. Last night I got together with two friends (yes, I actually have some!!!) to study for my Ecology class. We had a test today. Hurrah. After sucking down an energy drink, hooking my computer up to the Smartboard in our dorm, meeting 2 new guys, and being in a room with said guys and 3 or four other people….I was out of my mind balls tripping.

The energy drink needs no explanation. The Smartboard…well, let’s just say I love playing with those and hooking my computer up to it was a new level of fun for even me. The guys-read my last post. I’m awkward with guys and figured, OH LOOK A WAY FOR ME TO PRACTICE NOT BEING AWKWARD. Aaaaand then the extra people being thrown in there, well, there was no way I was going to be able to focus.

I really did want to study with my friends. We had the Ecology powerpoints pulled up and tried to go through them. But it was so damn hard. I was literally holding myself into a ball on the couch so I didn’t explode into a psychotic race car bouncing around the study area.

Eventually, everybody gave up and we just decided to wing it. It was an experience. I’ll leave it at that. I am in no way ready to receive that test grade.

As for the not being awkward…HAH. I don’t know what I was thinking. Because of the energy drink, I came off as very strong, obnoxious, and utterly mentally unstable. I demand a do over.

I think the point of this post is to remind people that no, I am not in control of my life. Well, I technically am. But I’m losing that control very quickly due to lack of sleep, too much sugar, and a new-found interest in almost every single boy that passes by.

(I blame this on the fact that I never reached that ‘boy crazy’ stage in high school).

*Jenna Marbles I can’t remember which video, but this phrase is directly from her. I only wish I were cool enough to think of shit like that.

The perfectionist in me is telling me to hurry the hell up and scan my drawings so I can publish this tonight. The attention-whore in me is saying to wait until tomorrow so that when I post it on Facebook, more people will see it. And the whore is also very tired tonight despite two naps today.

Whore, you win again.

EDIT: I just realized something. I mentioned above how I came across as mentally unstable, psychotic, and obnoxious to the guys I met last night. After proofreading this post, I see that I am still in that mindset. I am no longer allowing myself to late-night blog, seeing as to how I come across as somebody who belongs in an asylum. Kids, this is what no sleep does to you.